The sleeping bear

As mentioned in my previous post, I've become somewhat obsessed about infant/baby sleep. As I will be returning to work in a few weeks, I'm looking to extend the 3-4 hour stretches I've been doing thus far. Currently, I'm straddling between two sleep books -- Babywise and Healthy Sleeping Habits, Happy Child and am also looking to buy Baby Whisperer in the hopes that somewhere in between the lines, I will find direction and answers. I've also been talking to friends who are veteran mommies to see what worked for them. What I've come to realize is that the recommendations really vary and most did what was appropriate for their lifestyle/tolerance/etc. Some swear by the Cry It Out Ferber method where you let the baby cry it out all night while others choose the other extreme -- co-sleeping in the same bed. For T, I think C and I will lean towards the Weissbluth strategy of consistent routines with a kinder sensitive cry it out version. We'll let him Cry it Out but will put a time limit on it (no point in letting T cry until he's so worked up, he can't control himself). Of course, this is all theoretical as we have yet to test it out.

In our effort to prepare ourselves for T's eventual sleep-training, we've started to build a bedtime routine of bath, bottle and some reading (although by the time he's had his bottle, he could care less about the reading). And I've started to let him self-soothe and cry it out during his day naps (which luckily only last about 10 minutes). I'm also trying to keep a sleep/feeding log so I have some sense of what his sleeping, eating and wake patterns look like. C and I have not yet started any night sleeptraining as I can't seem to muster up the courage to let him cry it out if he's hungry (even if he's got a lot of extra food stored in his fat rolls). I'm hoping that his sleep stretches will naturally get longer and we can wait for another two months before we impose any night-time/early morning C-I-O tactics. Fingers crossed.

A few weeks ago, I attended a session organized by the Burlingame Mother's Club regarding "sleep" and the speaker was a mommy who had become a self-taught sleep expert (primarily out of necessity). I found her tips to be really helpful and thought I would summarize them in this blog for anyone who might be interested and equally searching for sleep solutions for their babies --

• Babies are born good sleepers or bad sleepers -- BUT, you can teach a good sleeper bad habits and teach a bad sleeper good habits


• Babies are not very teachable before 3-4 months of age (my comment -- although this is debatable depending on which author you read)


• The key to teaching good sleep habits is CONSISTENCY and ROUTINE; babies and kids love structure and routine (they can't tell time so this helps them know what to expect next)


• Step 1 -- Create a consistent nap time and bedtime routine -- write it down and communicate it to everyone in your house


• Step 2 -- Create a consistent schedule appropriate for your child's age (check out Weissbluth's book for details)


• Step 3 -- Give your child a nice, quiet, place to sleep -- e.g., total darkness, cooler better than hot, not too many toys or stuff in bed


• Step 4 -- Give your child some sleep aids to assist them, e.g., a book, music box


• Step 5 -- Be firm, consistent and non-emotional. The more consistent you are, the faster your child will learn


• Different parts of the brain deal with naps and night-time sleep so you can have different routines for each


• Once you've sleeptrained them, expect regression especially during milestones. If you stick to the routine then everything will most likely get back to normalcy


• Consider your child's temperament and what you can handle when picking a sleeptraining method


• Don't treat your baby or child like a "little adult" -- they are not doing things for the same reason you do things, e.g., when they cry, they're not always sad or hurt -- they just don't know how to talk, when they kick off their covers, it isn't necessarily because they are hot!


• If your child is not sleeping well, make sure it isn't for other reasons -- e.g., overly sensitive child, breathing problems, allergies, etc.

How to let your baby cry it out

• Observe your baby for a while (e.g., few days/weeks)


• Create a log of sleep, wake and eating activities


• Think about what routine works best for your child


• Pick a method that works for you and that you think could work for your child (e.g., Babywise/Ferber , Weissbluth, Baby Whisperer , Sears, West )


• Give your baby practice falling asleep by him/herself -- don't rock or nurse him/her to sleep


• Decide when you, your baby and your family is ready (don't start right before vacation or when baby is sick)


• Get your husband to agree on the plan -- you need the support


• Try a video monitor so you'll know the baby is okay when he's crying
  

So far, the day naps are working quite well. I try not to let T stay awake for more than two hours and I don't let him sleep for over 3 hours (although sometimes this is impossible to do when we are out and about). T is also pretty good about going to sleep when I put him in his crib (as mentioned, he'll cry for about 10-15 minutes but will sleep on his own). I've also opted to not rock, or use any swings or pacifiers to put him to sleep (yup, call me "mean mom"). We've also moved him into his own room (which broke my heart after having him sleep in a separate mobile crib in our room). Hopefully, we're setting the foundation for good, healthy habits?! I'm sure I will be back with another entry on sleep later on. Will be sure to keep you posted on how all this unravels.

Until then, I'll continue to bear and grin the lack of sleep and happily sport the fashionable bags under my eyes...all in the name of our adorable, sleeping bear.

Teddy and T sleeping: zzzz

Wake up, T

As promised in our "Confessions" entry, an example of "red square" T (the way he looks 80% of the time)

T safeguarding his gift from Santa

Reading books with friends

"Dude Ellie, its the holidays. No need to fight with Teddy!"

"Word to your momma"

"Teddy, ellie and me: best friends forever"

Getting jiggy with Teddy

Teddy and T again

Lean on me

Quick Teddy, don't let mommy see me!

We'll be friends forever, Teddy

My hobby in between naps, poops and feedings

Teddy, me and our books