We are fa-mi-ly

The holidays are here and that means meaningful reunions and visits from family. This year was particularly special because we had the chance to introduce little T to his uncles and aunts. In early December, C's brother and sister-in-law flew in from NYC to hang out with us for the weekend. After not having seen them for two years, it was incredible to see them again and T loved having them around. Another set of people to give him endless hugs and kisses. We welcomed the extra hands and immediately put them to work -- C's brother did a few diaper changes while SA (C's sister in law) helped out with feeding and burping.

Additionally, early this week, my little brother, M and sister, S, celebrated Christmas with us. In our state of transience, I realized that the last time I had seen my little brother was when I graduated from b-school in 6/2005 -- that's over 2.5 years! Needless to say, it was soo nice to have him over and to introduce him to our little dumpling. And as for my little sister, S -- lucky for us, S moved to San Francisco from DC about a month after we arrived and she's been a huge physical, mental and emotional help to have around. There's a mutual adoration between S and little Tristin and its wonderful to see how much they love each other.

Over the last few days, I don't know if this is T's x-mas gift to mommy and daddy but our little pumpkin has been smiling a lot more. Give him a good nap and some milk and he can't stop smiling. It's unclear what the source of these smiles are as they don't seem to come from the vast silly hand and facial gestures C and I make to induce smiles (hopefully, you'll never witness our attempts as we look like sheer idiots). If anything, his smiles seem to come on his terms -- whenever he feels like it and from whatever he sees is funny. Sometimes, he'll be sitting by himself and out of nowhere, he'll start giggling. His round eyes will turn into thin long black slits, his cheeks will perk up and his mouth widens into an adorably, heart-melting smile. Once in a very rare while, there will be a linkage between our funky gestures and his smile but I think the connection is coincidental or T throwing us an occasional bone so we won't stop trying. Whatever it is, we'll take it.

Enjoy the photos!

Ha ha ha ha ha


Daddy, teddy and me

Daddy and me time

Hanging out with Uncle M

Having fun with Auntie S

Like my wrist rattles?

Mommy and me -- why is she hugging me so hard?

Auntie SA, Uncle SC and me

Uncle SC and T

Putting Uncle SC to work

Daddy, so do you think batman and spiderman are really friends?

Looking up after a moment with daddy

I want milkkkkkk!!

Can I have your breast, daddy?

Smiling T -- big fat cheeks, thin black slits, big smile

Smiling Buddha

Half smile

Bathtime again

This is your gift, Teddy

Why does mommy keep putting me with these stuffed animals?

Yawn, again

Merry Christmas!

This one is a short entry just to wish everyone a very merry christmas from Tristin & family! It's been an amazing year -- with the move to the Bay area, the birth of Tristin, new jobs/roles for C and I and a whole new life making new friends, reacquainting ourselves with old buddies and re-uniting with family. Needless to say, C and I feel very blessed.

Tonight, my little brother will be coming into town (my little sister is staying with us) and C will be cooking up a Christmas prime rib dinner (yum, yum). We're all saving our appetites for tonight, including T who will likely be hanging out on the swing and dining on his milk (promise to give him an extra ounce of milk since it is, after all, x-mas!)

Hope you are all having a good, safe, festive one!! Merry, merry, merry christmas!!!

Good, I'm glad we're done here...

Getting ready for Santa...

Next to the tree...

I get a little help from my friends...

The sleeping bear

As mentioned in my previous post, I've become somewhat obsessed about infant/baby sleep. As I will be returning to work in a few weeks, I'm looking to extend the 3-4 hour stretches I've been doing thus far. Currently, I'm straddling between two sleep books -- Babywise and Healthy Sleeping Habits, Happy Child and am also looking to buy Baby Whisperer in the hopes that somewhere in between the lines, I will find direction and answers. I've also been talking to friends who are veteran mommies to see what worked for them. What I've come to realize is that the recommendations really vary and most did what was appropriate for their lifestyle/tolerance/etc. Some swear by the Cry It Out Ferber method where you let the baby cry it out all night while others choose the other extreme -- co-sleeping in the same bed. For T, I think C and I will lean towards the Weissbluth strategy of consistent routines with a kinder sensitive cry it out version. We'll let him Cry it Out but will put a time limit on it (no point in letting T cry until he's so worked up, he can't control himself). Of course, this is all theoretical as we have yet to test it out.

In our effort to prepare ourselves for T's eventual sleep-training, we've started to build a bedtime routine of bath, bottle and some reading (although by the time he's had his bottle, he could care less about the reading). And I've started to let him self-soothe and cry it out during his day naps (which luckily only last about 10 minutes). I'm also trying to keep a sleep/feeding log so I have some sense of what his sleeping, eating and wake patterns look like. C and I have not yet started any night sleeptraining as I can't seem to muster up the courage to let him cry it out if he's hungry (even if he's got a lot of extra food stored in his fat rolls). I'm hoping that his sleep stretches will naturally get longer and we can wait for another two months before we impose any night-time/early morning C-I-O tactics. Fingers crossed.

A few weeks ago, I attended a session organized by the Burlingame Mother's Club regarding "sleep" and the speaker was a mommy who had become a self-taught sleep expert (primarily out of necessity). I found her tips to be really helpful and thought I would summarize them in this blog for anyone who might be interested and equally searching for sleep solutions for their babies --

• Babies are born good sleepers or bad sleepers -- BUT, you can teach a good sleeper bad habits and teach a bad sleeper good habits


• Babies are not very teachable before 3-4 months of age (my comment -- although this is debatable depending on which author you read)


• The key to teaching good sleep habits is CONSISTENCY and ROUTINE; babies and kids love structure and routine (they can't tell time so this helps them know what to expect next)


• Step 1 -- Create a consistent nap time and bedtime routine -- write it down and communicate it to everyone in your house


• Step 2 -- Create a consistent schedule appropriate for your child's age (check out Weissbluth's book for details)


• Step 3 -- Give your child a nice, quiet, place to sleep -- e.g., total darkness, cooler better than hot, not too many toys or stuff in bed


• Step 4 -- Give your child some sleep aids to assist them, e.g., a book, music box


• Step 5 -- Be firm, consistent and non-emotional. The more consistent you are, the faster your child will learn


• Different parts of the brain deal with naps and night-time sleep so you can have different routines for each


• Once you've sleeptrained them, expect regression especially during milestones. If you stick to the routine then everything will most likely get back to normalcy


• Consider your child's temperament and what you can handle when picking a sleeptraining method


• Don't treat your baby or child like a "little adult" -- they are not doing things for the same reason you do things, e.g., when they cry, they're not always sad or hurt -- they just don't know how to talk, when they kick off their covers, it isn't necessarily because they are hot!


• If your child is not sleeping well, make sure it isn't for other reasons -- e.g., overly sensitive child, breathing problems, allergies, etc.

How to let your baby cry it out

• Observe your baby for a while (e.g., few days/weeks)


• Create a log of sleep, wake and eating activities


• Think about what routine works best for your child


• Pick a method that works for you and that you think could work for your child (e.g., Babywise/Ferber , Weissbluth, Baby Whisperer , Sears, West )


• Give your baby practice falling asleep by him/herself -- don't rock or nurse him/her to sleep


• Decide when you, your baby and your family is ready (don't start right before vacation or when baby is sick)


• Get your husband to agree on the plan -- you need the support


• Try a video monitor so you'll know the baby is okay when he's crying
  

So far, the day naps are working quite well. I try not to let T stay awake for more than two hours and I don't let him sleep for over 3 hours (although sometimes this is impossible to do when we are out and about). T is also pretty good about going to sleep when I put him in his crib (as mentioned, he'll cry for about 10-15 minutes but will sleep on his own). I've also opted to not rock, or use any swings or pacifiers to put him to sleep (yup, call me "mean mom"). We've also moved him into his own room (which broke my heart after having him sleep in a separate mobile crib in our room). Hopefully, we're setting the foundation for good, healthy habits?! I'm sure I will be back with another entry on sleep later on. Will be sure to keep you posted on how all this unravels.

Until then, I'll continue to bear and grin the lack of sleep and happily sport the fashionable bags under my eyes...all in the name of our adorable, sleeping bear.

Teddy and T sleeping: zzzz

Wake up, T

As promised in our "Confessions" entry, an example of "red square" T (the way he looks 80% of the time)

T safeguarding his gift from Santa

Reading books with friends

"Dude Ellie, its the holidays. No need to fight with Teddy!"

"Word to your momma"

"Teddy, ellie and me: best friends forever"

Getting jiggy with Teddy

Teddy and T again

Lean on me

Quick Teddy, don't let mommy see me!

We'll be friends forever, Teddy

My hobby in between naps, poops and feedings

Teddy, me and our books

Thanks Grandma Cho!

Just a few days ago, my mom left for Korea after two months of helping me adjust to my new life as a mommy. I can't tell you how much I dreaded her leaving and how sad I was to see her go. For one, she was the best nanny one could ever ask for. She took care of the baby better than I could and whenever T would cry, a little cradling and a magic grandma Cho touch and T would quickly simmer down. Second, she was a diligent cleaner. Thanks to her, our place was immaculate and dust-free. The bed was always made. The bathrooms were always clean. Laundry was done. Third, she brought sanity to my life because she allowed me to go for runs, exercise at the gym (essentially, work on shedding the weight I had gained) and together, we would go for Vietnamese noodle and Indian buffet lunches and Target shopping. Fourth and most importantly, she was the best confidante and friend I could have ever asked for over the last 2 months. Whenever I was down, she would make me laugh. Whenever I had questions, she would always answer. I've always adored my mom but the last two months gave me another billion reasons for loving her even more.

Needless to say, if I've looked like I had my act together until now, behind this woman (me) was a much better woman (my mom). Don't be surprised if the next time you see me (or come for a visit) -- my house is a mess, my hair is a mess, T is a mess and I freak out on you. You've been officially warned.

Grandma Cho and T

My friends

In my attempts for more adult time, I've started diligently organizing and participating in playdates with other mommies. From playgroup dates organized by the Burlingame Mother's Club to informal playdates with mommies in the Peninsula, T has made a good number of friends around town. In most playdates recently, he's been sleeping through the entire thing but as mentioned in my previous post, these dates are less for the babies and more for the mommies (me). It helps to hear how other babies T's age are developing and growing. For example, when T was becoming incredibly fussy and eating constantly at week 6, it was nice to know that this was a normal growth spurt. It's also nice to know how long everyone else's babies are sleeping and what/whether they are using any sleep measures to get their babies to sleep longer through the night.

Speaking of sleep, I've become a mommy that is slowly becoming obsessed with this topic. Not so much because T doesn't sleep well but moreso because I am soon returning to work and would really really like it (pretty please with a cherry on top and ice cream) if he could sleep for a 6+ hour stretch consistently. So far, no luck. Sometimes he'll give me a long stretch and other times (like last night), he'll offer a mere 3-4 hour stretch. I guess I should be grateful that it isn't 1-2 hours (like it is for some other babies/mommies). More on sleep later...

Enjoy the photos!

T and his best friend, Adrian

T and his playdate buddies (note: T slept through the entire playdate)

Again, T sleeping through his playdate (wake up T!!)

(T: Yo Adrian, wazzup my man?)

(A: No comment)

Adrian, Ethan and T

(A: why are they making me take pics? boohoohoo!!)

(E: why do I have to hang out with these little babies!?!)

(T: Yea, I know you wanna rub my tummy...zzz..)

The 3 boyz

Mommy, do I really need to hang out with these sleeping babies?!