Mommy's leave is soon over

In a few weeks, my maternity leave will be over and I have to admit, I'm really sad. While a part of me is excited to go back to work and resume my normal adult life, a very big part of me feels a sense of emptiness at the thought of not seeing T on an hourly basis. The thought of not being able to hold and feed him during the day, watch him dance on his playmat and struggle through tummy time makes me sad. There were times right before my mom left when I would randomly shed tears at the thought of her departure and my impending return to work. But then, I would think through the alternative of staying at home as a full-time mom or working part-time and while I adore T with all my heart, I think I would be a crazy stay-at-home mom. The type who would be busy acting as some coordinator official in a local mommy organization, active volunteer at some non-profit, a diligent student at a cooking school, a workout buff, and the parent every kid dreads -- a mommy who wants to be insanely involved in every aspect of the child's life. Yep, the annoying type that would want to actively participate in the sleepovers (as one of the friends) and be "cool" (if you've ever watched Laguna Beach, you'd know it's the moms that hover around the kids all dressed up so they can be part of the filming). More importantly and why staying at home would not be good for me -- I would put a significant dent in our finances. I would be spending loads of time hauling T to William Sonoma (my favorite store) and shopping online for accessories, gadgets and gourmet ingredients for the kitchen and the house. I mean, you can't expect me to "make the house a home" without the latest cooking/baking/dinnerware, now can you? =)

Anyway, once work resumes, I am curious as to what sets of emotions I will undergo as I straddle work and being a mommy/wife. I guess this is where the true test of work-life balance pops in. I'm sure there will be days when I'll be stressed because I'll feel like a loser/failure in both. Well, we'll cross that bridge when the time comes (hopefully not too soon).

So enough about me and more on T. Not to be obsessed about sleeping but just the other day, he slept close to TEN hours. Yes, T-E-N. Of course, he hasn't done it again since then but he's been averaging a 7-hour night which has been a real treat for me. Further, feeding has gotten quite tough. In the past, feeding T was really easy -- our biggest problem was getting him to slow down his eating (he would eat as though he had been starved and someone was coming after his milk). Now, for some feedings, we (T and I) literally fight. T acts like he's not hungry, starts to cry and until I persistently fight with him and shove the milk down his throat as he cries, he won't start eating. And once he starts, he gulps like a hungry madman, cries and then the whole process begins again. I don't know what's happened. At one point, I blamed the milk -- maybe it was bad, not fresh enough, etc. And then I thought, maybe it was me -- I wasn't properly able to gauge whether he was hungry or not. Now, I don't know -- maybe both, maybe him, maybe it's just all part of the challenge of taking care of a baby. If anyone has a clue, please let me know.

Hopefully, this is a temporary glitch and things will return to normalcy so mommy can stop pulling out the guns every time the "T vs. me" battle ensues. He's too cute to deserve that...

Falling sleep on daddy by the x-mas tree

T's favorite stretch

Tristin, what's that white thing sticking out below?!

Daddy, I really do think you're the best (of course, second to mommy)..

...having said that, can you buy me a toy?

What do you mean "no"?

Daddy said instead of a toy, he'll give me a kiss

Stretching again

Up, close & personal

Red Square

Tummy time on daddy

Another kiss from daddy

I swear mommy, I have no idea where daddy is..

Helping mommy with the laundry..

...just kidding...

Smiling candy cane

*Sigh* Getting tired of tummy time

I wonder what's down there

I wonder what's over there..